The Expendables (2010)

 

Times change, but somehow (yes, nostalgia included) there is something special about the action films of the 1980s. They were singularly over the top, oozing a little too much machismo but also had quips and were just unadulterated fun to watch. Nothing like some extreme examples of men kicking the everloving snot out of hordes of nameless enemies. Sure, that age came to a halt with the advent of 'Die Hard' and the focus on more 'realistic' heroes, but that silly exaggerated stuff still works just for funsies.

So imagine the idea that a plethora of action stars from the past team up with some fresher faces ànd a couple of real life MMA- and wrestling stars to bring a throwback to the insanity of the 80s? 

Thank you so much, mr Stallone. You truly are a gift to the world.

The entire setup is as classic as can be: a group of mercenaries (the best there are, the best there were and the best there'll ever be - bonus points if you get the reference) goes all over the world kicking ass when regular troops can't. It starts when they free the crew from a vessel that has been hijacked by Somali pirates. And to make sure we get it, it's a brutal and glorious shootout with no holds barred and explosions, things that go boom and bodies flying everywhere. 

Fun.

After that, there is a little character building but not too much, as we mostly focus on Barney (Stallone) and Lee (Statham) as our focal point. A shady CIA agent (are there any other in films?) wants them to take out a general on the fictional island of Vilena. Barney and Lee go scouting, but they run into trouble and decide not to pursue this mission. Although, Barney is wracked with guilt that he had to leave a woman behind. She was their contact person and Barney instinctively knows the island is going to hell in a handbasket quickly. That the whole island is under control of a rogue CIA agent only furthers his interest to get back there and kick all the ass. 

Which of course the entire team does, with blood, guts and and insane amount of things that go boom. 

This film exactly delivers what it promises: light on story, pretty heavy on action in every 80s way possible. You get gunfights, knife fights, explosion fights, fistfights, car chases, explosions, sneering villains, cool heroes, quips, explosions and did I mention explosions? 

No joke: this is as classic 80s as you could possibly get. Not to mention that Stallone really wanted to make this thing, as he suffered a ridiculous amount of pretty severe injuries and still powered through to finish it all. Look it up, it's humbling. 

Of course, if you can't stand the over-the-top tropes and violence, then this most definitely isn't the film for you. But if you can enjoy this stuff, you'll be sitting in your chair with a huge grin, shouting: "YES!" at your screen for quite a lot of the time.