Piranha 3D (2010)

 

When it was announced that there was a remake of sorts coming that would once again tackle the 'Piranha'-storyline as set out by Joe Dante and Roger Corman not everyone was excited, to say the least. I mean: 'Piranha' in itself was a knock-off of 'Jaws'. A really well done knock-off, but still. So then here comes director Alexandre Aja and cranks the silliness up to eleven, with so many boobs that even Corman might feel that it was a tad too much.

And you know what? This film has fun with itself and as a result is a lot more entertaining than you might think. 

Well played, mr Aja. Well played.

It's Spring Break at Lake Victoria and thousands of horny, drunken students are having a blast. Our local sheriff (Elisabeth Shue) is doing her best to keep everything as civilized as possible. But then an earthquake creates a massive crack in the lakebed and out of it swarm thousands of piranha and they're hungry. 

But these are no ordinary piranha: these are prehistoric killer fish. Very soon the bodycount mounts, but things really get cooking when our sheriff wants to get everyone out of the water (hello 'Jaws' references!) but that's pretty tough considering most people are drunk and rowdy. 

Until the bodyparts start flying, of course. Chaos ensues and it is glorious. 

In the meantime, the kids of our sheriff are on a separate boat with an incredibly sleazy, coked-out-of-his-mind producer (Jerry O'Connell is having a blast) and two models/pornstars shooting videos for a lurid website and then they hit rocks. So the ship starts to sink and now our sheriff has to save her kids from the ravenous fish. 

The film absolutely delivers and wastes little time in exposition or slogging talky scenes: it's mostly either fish attacking, or hot ladies showing off their assets, both bottom and top(less). Sounds sleazy? Intentionally so and it works. 

No, I'm not just saying this because I happen to like curvaceous ladies. Hear me out.

See, what 'Piranha 3D' does really well is take a lot of clichés from exploitation cinema and crank up the dial. Is there a reason for so many boobs on display? Heck no. You even get a completely random naked underwater ballet between two ladies and it makes no sense, yet is here in all the details. But the film also really delivers in the gore. Most of the mutilations are done with practical effects and they feel suitably icky and gooey. At times, they are incredibly exaggerated but it works. I mean: Ving Rhames using a boat propeller to kill fish whilst said fish are gnawing away at his legs and he keeps sinking deeper? 

It's every bit as epic as it sounds. 

Or what about that tried-and-tested method of attaching big names to the film and only have them do what amounts to a cameo? Here, this is reserved for Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd. This is a direct reference to the classic B-movies. 

Our leads are okay and some of the characters are actually nice. Elisabeth Shue is really good as the sheriff and her son is relatable. One of the models (played by the gorgeous Kelly Brook) is also very good and she actually has a personality. It's actually a bit sad when she inadvertently dies, which is not bad for a bit part character. 

The 3D effects and CG look pretty awful, though. Not just because 3D was one of those shortlived fads yet again, but because you can really tell the fish are often superimposed and they don't mesh with the rest. But somehow it all adds to the charm. 

This is not a film for everyone. First off, it's gory as all heck and it pays a lot of tribute to creature features of old. And not everyone will care for the overabundance of T&A that feels a bit pointless but clicks with the sort of film everyone set out to make. But 'Piranha 3D' is a blast when you're up for it.