Plan 9 From Outer Space (1957)

 

This is it, this is thé cult flick, thé posterchild for films 'so bad they're actually good'. Much has been said about Ed Wood and he has even been called the most inept filmmaker ever, but that simply isn't true. Was he inept? Yes, but he had a passion and vision, just never the means or knowhow to make it all work on screen. But his films are weird and fun. Much more acclaimed directors have made films that were downright dull and boring, and what is worse? A 'bad' film that is still fun to watch, or a 'decent' film that bores the life out of you?

And to be fair: Ed Wood's stuff isn't thàt terrible. Sure, 'Glen or Glenda' is weird in every respect, but fascinating and 'Bride of the Monster' is a fairly run-of-the-mill horror story. This however, is a different beast entirely. Ed Wood wanted to make a science fiction epic, but he had absolutely no money to do so. And gods, it shows. 

The plot is once again deceptively simple: aliens are trying to stop humans from creating a bomb that will eventually destroy the universe. To do this, they reanimate corpses and try to install a reign of terror, so that the humans will listen to the aliens' dire warning. 

That's it. That's the whole plot. 

But who cares about the plot when you can have fun picking this one apart. Continuity is hard for this one, where day and night shots switch willy-nilly. The acting ranges from bad to atrocious and the sets are hilariously cheap. 

Seriously: the graveyard is comprised of cardboard/wooden headstones that wobble; scenes at night are clearly in front of a black drape; the spaceships are models on fishing lines that you can actually see...

It's glorious.

Of course, this film is mostly famous because Ed Wood made some shots of Bela Lugosi before his passing and spliced them in here so it looks as if Bela is one of the undead; however, this character is mostly played by someone else entirely who doesn't remotely look like Bela, even while holding the cape in front of his face most of the time. Tor Johnson also speaks in this film, but maybe he shouldn't have, as he's barely intelligible. Good thing he plays a zombie for the most part then. Then there's the alien leader who is clearly reading his lines from cuecards all the time and couldn't be more disinterested if he tried.

No really, it is a work of art in the respect of ineptitude.

And still: there are few films that are so ridiculously memorable and quotable. The opening monologue by Criswell for starters. Or: "One thing's for certain. Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered. And someone is responsible." delivered with all the emotion of a dead fish. Or Eros (one of the aliens) sort of shouting at the humans with their 'stupid minds' like an 8-year-old thinking he is being rude.

Egad, I love this film. 

I haven't even mentioned the cockpit of a plane that consists of a shower curtain and two control sticks that are just pieces of unconvincing cardboard pasted together. Because there is so much to see, it boggles the mind!

The one thing that exceeds expectation is the appearance of horror host Vampira as one of the ghouls as she truly looks terrifying. She doesn't do much besides stare and waggle her fingers, but the lady had the looks and the stance to make it work. So there's that.

Of course, most people prefer their films to be entertaining and slick. This is not slick in any way, shape or fashion, but it damn sure is entertaining. Watch it with some friends and marvel at the mistakes and shoddy production values and then start discovering you can remember whole lines of dialogue even after the first go.