Predators (2010)

 

Raise your hand if you ever thought the guy from 'The Pianist' would actually become an action star. 

If you raised your hand, you're a bloody liar and I spurn thee as I would a rabid dog.

Jokes aside: it's a bit of a weird casting choice, but hey, it sort of worked. Which is a bit like this entire film: it sort of works, but not really. 

Made as a direct sequel to the original (and by far still the best) 'Predator', things are off to a flying start when our leading man (Brody) is plummeting to the ground unconscious. He quickly awakens only to find a parachute of sorts just barely saves his life as he hits the ground. He has no idea where he is, but it is a jungle alright. Pretty soon, he discovers others who also have no clue why they are there. It's a bit of a ragtag bunch, with a Spetsnaz soldier, a sniper from the Israeli Defence Force, a cartel enforcer, a guy from a Rwandese death squad, an inmate from death row, a Yakuza and a doctor.

Why the doctor? Because the film thinks we're idiots and don't immediately realize there is something very off with that guy. Because of course he's a complete psycho.

Pretty soon they discover they're on an alien planet and this is of course a game preserve where they are the prey. Heck, they even discover a predator chained up, because apparently there are two different classes of Predators (or Yautja, as they are officially called) and the upper caste hunts the lower caste as well because reasons.

Yeah, you will get that a lot with this film. Reasons. Unfathomable, bizarre reasons.

One by one our party gets picked off until the final stand between our hero and the last remaining super Predator. 

It is rather anticlimactic, actually. 

This film has a myriad of issues, but the casting fortunately isn't one of them. It is a solid cast, hands down. What makes this film so annoying at times, is that they have way too many callbacks to the first one, which will only serve to remind you that the first one is far superior. There is nary a new idea to be found anywhere, and characters are forced to do the dreaded exposition dumps or suddenly have information no one could possibly know. 

Even the action is a bit of a letdown, really. There isn't a lot of it, and it is pretty much always underwhelming. To make matters even worse, now there are three Predators, but they never feel like a legitimate threat.

Again: the first two only had one and those felt pretty threatening. 

Is this film a total waste of your time? Well, if you enjoy all things Predator, it is passable, but that really is the extent of it all. Don't expect anything, and you might even enjoy it. But I wouldn't hold my breath.