Doom (2005)

 

You know how videogames rarely make for decent films? Well, this one is yet another good example why some things work better purely as a game and less so on the big screen. This is especially the case as the writers changed quite a few things of the game lore in order to craft a story, but they still dropped the ball. Granted, there would always have to be changes made as the story of the games is fairly simple: walk into a room and kill everything that moves. Yet even with a simple premisse, they made several choices that are quite baffling.

Is it a total loss? Not totally, no. But one would be hardpressed to call this one decent.

On a research station/archeological dig site on Mars, not only have scientists fund humanoid remains, but unbeknownst to most they are conducting experiments of a highly volatile nature. Indeed, something happens and communications with the laboratory are cut off. In response, a group of marines is sent off to Mars, among them John Grimm, codename 'Reaper'.

See what they did there? Boy, that is all sorts of not clever.

One of the head scientists turns out to be Reaper's twin sister and as soon as the team head into the lab, they know weird things are going on. The corridors are dark, no one is to be found and spooky stuff seems to happen all the time. Until they do find scientists and they are all insane. Even worse, there appear to be creatures lurking in the shadows and one by one, the marines are picked off. The Sarge (Dwayne Johnson) then goes nuts and decides to kill everyone and everything, even the people that are okay.

See, the reason there are creatures lurking about is thanks to an extra chromosome that has been injected. It turns evil people into monsters and benevolent people just become superhuman. And if you get bitten, that's how it transfers. So it's a lot like a zombie infestation. As in: exactly like that. 

As Sarge grows increasingly insane, Reaper gets hurt and his sister injects him with the extra chromosome, of course turning him into a superhuman (aka Doomguy, but not really) and then there's a first-person sequence followed by fisticuffs between Reaper and a mutating Sarge.

You can probably tell why this film rubbed fans of the game the wrong way. For starters: where are the demons from actuall hell? Sure, they reference demons, devils and hell a lot in this film, but now it boils down to genetic experiments. Fair enough they wanted to make this change, but why then call it 'Doom' except for the marketability? Now it has little to nothing to do with the gaming franchise. Even if it is more based around 'Doom 3', it still doesn't quite fit. 

The characters are also rather bizarre. Portman is such an insufferable prick, I'm surprised his own team didn't shoot him ages ago, The Kid is downright silly, as no one that green would ever be accepted into an elite squad which this is supposed to be and the religiously conflicted Goat makes no sense whatsoever but they just needed someone with a massive guilt complex. Most of the acting is also pretty wonky to start with. Karl Urban and Rosamund Pike do a decent enough job with what they're given, but everyone else is either not good or bland as all heck. Not even Dwayne Johnson can save his ridiculous character, as he goes from competent to completely nuts in three seconds flat for no reason. 

The environments are drab, shot mostly in shadows and you really need good eyes to see what is going on as the choppy editing makes any action there is hard to follow. Even the action itself is spread thin and far apart and is usually over in a jiffy. And the horror elements don't amount to much more than some jumpscares and gore that is so blatantly fake, it's almost painful. If the film didn't take itself so seriously, there could have been some more fun to be had, but as it is now it fails both as an action and as a horror adventure. 

If you have a low bar for scifi stuff this can be enjoyed on a base level but don't expect anything special. If this didn't have the 'Doom' name attached to it, no one would have cared.