Dinoshark (2010)

 

Bless Roger Corman, producer of a gazillion low budget films, mostly horror. The man just kept on delivering schlock, which can be a blessing to some but we would be remiss not to mention that his output became decidedly less interesting as the years progressed. Mainly shooting in Mexico for budgetary reasons, a lot of his productions were bog standard. For every 'Sharktopus', you get one of these.

Say about 'Sharktopus' what you will, but the first one is stupid fun thanks to a bonkers idea. This one? Not so much.

Because the glaciers are melting at an alarming rate, prehistoric fish are released into the ocean and grow up to be some sort of armour plated sharks with mosasaur/Tyrannosaur heads. One of them heads down to Mexico and proceeds to eat several people, as creatures are prone to do in films such as these. The shark switches easily between the ocean and the rivers and varies wildly in size depending the shot. Of course no one believes our heroes and of course there are festivities which no one wants to halt.

Yep, one of those again. 

I could wax poetically about how boring this one is, but I won't. It's just boring. Our leads can't act for the life of them and have the emotional range of a potato, which is in itself an insult to potatoes. 

So how about the kills then? They are equally boring and non-descript. The pattern is always the same, over and over again. You'd think they just re-use the same footage of the shark and then get creative with the bodycount but nope. Everyone gets devoured in pretty much the same way, including the camera angle. 

One thing I did notice on repeated viewing (yes, I did that. I suffer for you, you know?) is that this film is horrendous at sticking to continuity. Characters go from dry to wet and dry within the same scene, sunglasses appear and disappear willy-nilly and our lead Eric Balfour's goatee varies wildly in size from shot to shot. It gets really distracting after several minutes.

And when someone's goatee is more entertaining than the titular beastie, you know this one is pretty awful across the board.