Rocky V (1990)

 

Where could Stallone go after the insanely over-the-top, yet oh-so-enjoyable fourth entry in the series? He sure as all hell couldn't go even further (Rocky in Space, perhaps?), so what did they come up with?

Bring him back down. Back to the roots. And the idea in itself is excellent, just a shame the execution is rather lacking in this one.

Directly after the bout with Drago, Rocky discovers that there's a pretty good chance he has brain damage. So there's not a lot to do but effectively retire. And yes, Rocky retiring is almost a running gag by this point. However, there's an infuriatingly annoying promoter hellbent on getting Rocky back in the ring, by any means necessary. 

Why yes, the man is obviously based on real life boxing promoter Don King. It's a bit too obvious.

Rocky still says no, but because Paulie fucked up, they are now destitute and have to return to their old stomping grounds in Philadelphia and do their best to make ends meet once again. Rocky takes over Mick's old gym, Adrian's back at the pet shop and just their son is having problems adjusting to the lifestyle of the not-so-rich-and-plush. 

Things grow more tense between Rocky and his son when Tommy Gunn appears, a young boxer who desperately wants Rocky to train him. Rocky sees Tommy as a son and forgets his own kid. But Tommy quickly grows impatient and wants a shot at the title, even though Rocky thinks he isn't ready. So of course Tommy gets seduced by the promoter (money and tits, who knew it was thàt easy?) but wants out from under Rocky's shadow, which is not an easy thing to do. This all culminates in an all out brawl on the streets of Philly. 

The idea behind this film is really, really good and it might have worked. There are just a few problems. For one, bringing it all down from the insane spectacle that the films were working up to is a bit jarring, but not unwelcome. But Stallone and director John Avildsen are desperately trying to recreate the look and feel of the first one and that doesn't gel. The antagonists here are also not good. Tommy Gunn is a boring character and a far cry from iconic opponents such as Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago. He just lacks personality. 

Fair enough, Drago also had no personality, but he had so little personality he became like a machine and thus threatening and memorable.

And honestly? The story and pacing is just boring as all heck. This film just shambles along, never once showing any interesting hook or line. It's going through the motions of a very bored cow and the deliberate winking at the legacy of the series grows stale very rapidly. 

Is it atrocious? No. It's not as bad as a lot of people on the Internet (including Stallone himself) make it out to be. It's just very mediocre and bland. 

The brawl at the end is pretty awesome, though.