Deathstalker (1983)

 

Don't be fooled by the absolutely gorgeous artwork for this series. The films - alas - don't do it justice.

It is a truckload of cheesy fun, though. 

Following the success of 'Conan the Barbarian' a ton of films were made during the early 80s that all had sword and sorcery in them. Throw in a few barbarians, some blood and gratuitous nudity and voila: recipe for success. Now to be fair, certain films of this subgenre were actually good. This can't be said about 'Deathstalker' as it is nowhere near a good film but is is highly entertaining. 

Rick Hill plays the title character, a lone barbarian who steals, ravages women and pretty much looks out for number one. He is asked by a deposed king to battle the sorcerer Munkar and return his daughter to him. 

Our hero flatly refuses. 

A short while later he saves an elderly witch, who also appears to be a friend, from some of Munkar's troops. She tells him he has to go on a quest to reunite the three powers of creation. Munkar already holds the amulet and the chalice, Deathstalker needs to retrieve the sword. 

You didn't think it was going to be a pillow, did you?

Now Deathstalker suddenly accepts without hesitation. You will notice that most of the characters' motivations change on a dime. 

When Deathstalker comes across Oghriss, he learns that Munkar is hosting a fighting tournament, pitting the best warriors against one another. They are also joined by Kaira, a barbarian woman who can easily hold her own yet has the most unpractical garments of all. Heck, the men are more dressed than she is. Okay, we are talking about the lovely Lana Clarkson (who sadly was killed by Phil Spector), so no complaints here about the amount of random gratuitous boob shots, but still. 

That's a theme, by the way. Most ladies look hot and the amount of boob- and butt shots in closeup are pretty plentiful. Just like the ladies. Is this then a sexist film? More a young male fantasy, probably. We all wanted to be an awesomely muscled barbarian wielding a sword and winning the affections of gorgeous ladies. 

Or something along those lines, but I digress.

If you guessed that Munkar is hosting this tournament for the sole purpose of thinning the herd of people able to stand up to him, you can go and give yourself a screenwriter's credit because that indeed is his dastardly plan. But standing up to a guy named Deathstalker does give you a head's up how things are going to turn out. 

Sure, you could have Mickey for an opponent and you wouldn't know, but when someone tells you your opponent is legitimately called 'Deathstalker' it's time to find a new hobby. 

So the acting is uneven at best, the editing sometimes nonsensical, some dubbing awfully distracting, special effects bare bones and dialogue shaky. And yet, it somehow clicks if you take it for what it is: a cheesy schlockfest that ticks the right boxes, but forgot to put the boxes in the right amount and order to create something epic. The lead characters are very distinct and look great, as Rick Hill, Lana Clarkson and Bernard Erhard (Munkar) truly look the part. It's just that the sets are clearly cardboard and styrofoam and nothing that happens makes a lot of sense. But you will walk away from this with several scenes embedded in your brain.

Or you just remember it for the plethora of boobs. That could also be possible.