Small Soldiers (1998)

 

Joe Dante has a knack for making quirky films that are often very funny and occasionally scary at the same time. You know, that fine line of films that you can possibly see as a kid and get slightly traumatised, and then when you revisit them as an adult, you can laugh your ass off at how funny they are. 

You know, with stuff like say 'Piranha' or a little Chistmas-film called 'Gremlins'.

The influence of the latter is very obvious in this one. Maybe a bit much so, as this is more or less also little things running amuk in a provincial town. This time, it's toys instead of creatures, but the gist is roughly the same. 

Globotech is a massive corporation that made a ton of money in the military, but now is buying up other businesses in order to branch out. Their latest acquisition is a toy company, and they throw together two ideas which leads to a new toyline where a group called Commando Elite and the Gorgonites are supposedly at war. You know: soldiers versus monsters. But they want to make the toys more interactive, so they install computerchips in them. 

One problem though: those chips are high class military grade and the toys actually come alive, believing their programming is their purpose. Therefore, the Commandos want to eradicate the peaceful Gorgonites. And this happens when a young boy whose dad has a failing toy store decides to try and sell a few in order to make some bucks. But very soon the commandos also set their sights on the humans helping the Gorgonites and then chaos and shenanigans ensue... 

So yes, if you've ever seen 'Gremlins', you can instantly see where the comparisons come from. And yes, 'Gremlins' is by far the superior film, but you shouldn't instantly disavow this one. 

It's really isn't bad. It's just that it stands in the shadow of a better one. 

The puppetry and CG for the toys is pretty good and the voicework is done by an excellent cast, lead by Tommy Lee Jones as Chip Hazard of the Commando's and Frank Langella as Archer of the Gorgonites. You will also have that line: "I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites." imprinted upon the brain, as he does say that quite a lot. 

The human cast is okay, but as is often the case in a Joe Dante-vehicle, it's the side characters that steal the show. Here you'll definitely smirk at Dick Miller and Robert Picardo (the two absolute stalwarts of any Dante-film) and people like Denis Leary and Wendy Schaal. 

So yes, it's a fun film, but they obviously didn't really know whether they wanted to aim for a more adult audience or more for the kids, and as a result, the film falls a bit in between. A shame really, as a more focused approach would have made this better. And yes, the more 'horror' way would have been better, to be fair. You get a bit of this with the attack of the Barbie Dolls.

Yes, they are different ones, but sorry: those are Barbie Dolls. 

In the end, 'Small Soldiers' is definitely entertaining and if you're in the mood for this kind of thing, it can be a lot of fun. But is certainly isn't Dante's best work.