Christine (1983)

 

With Stephen King-adaptations, you very often have a case of hit-and-miss. There are great ones, there are also a lot that downright stink. This one is one of the better ones, even if the premisse is about as bonkers as you can get, as it is about a car that is downright evil. 

Yes. A car. Honk, honk, motherfucker?

We start off at the assembly line in Detroit and almost immediately, we know something is off. This red Plymouth Fury sticks out and when a mechanic checks the engine, the hood slams down, ripping up his hand. But that's not all: when another worker drops some cigar ashes inside, he is later found dead. 

And all that to the awesome tune of 'Bad To the Bone' by George Thorogood. Yep, I'm digging this.

Fast forward about 20 years and we meet Dennis and Arnie, two good friends. Dennis is a good American footballplayer and Arnie is a slender, shy pushover, the classic nerd-archetype. For once, this friendship isn't far fetched, as the rapport between these characters makes perfect sense and why wouldn't an athletic guy have a geeky kid as friend? Piss off with those clichés!

Anyway...

Arnie soon sees the wreckage of a car and he is instantly smitten. He even buys the car on the spot. Everyone calls him crazy for it, but he is adamant and manages to completely restore her. Heck, he even manages to win over the hot and smart new girl in school: Leigh Cabot. And yet, there is something amiss, as Arnie's personality begins to change and he becomes entirely enthralled with the car, who is dubbed Christine. In fact, Arnie becomes almost exactly like the previous owner and Christine is clearly jealous of everyone in his life. 

To make matters worse, the school bullies totally destroy the car, yet she miraculously becomes whole again and then goes on a rampage, killing these kids. To be fair: they're utter bastards, but, well... 

Things come to a head when Dennis and Leigh really want to help Arnie and realize the car is evil, so they hatch a plan to destroy Christine and hopefully save Arnie. 

This might not be the best work director John Carpenter has made, but it is still a highly enjoyable film. The one thing you might feel is a bit of a shame, is that it is incredibly obvious that the car is in fact evil, and there's no doubt as to whether Arnie is the one doing the killing. It is a bit of a shame, as the story might have benefited from a bit of subversion, but you can't win it all, I guess. But all the actors do a great job and especially Keith Gordon as Arnie deserves praise, as his slow descent into madness is done extremely well. The supporting cast is also excellent at what they do, which is very nice. 

But the star of the film is the car, no doubt about it. And even though the model was considered very bog standard at the time, nowadays, the red and white Plymouth Fury looks awesome. Not only that, but the way they depict her as self-repairing is pretty nifty, as is her killing spree. Sure, you need a healthy dose of suspending disbelief and maybe it's a little hard to swallow that a car can be so utterly evil and jealous, but if you're willing to accept this silly idea, you get a cool film. The fact that Christine 'communicates' through the radio that only plays 50s rock n roll is a cool touch, by the way. 

Is it really a horror film? Maybe not. And it is a slow burn, so if you're expecting flashy editing and breakneck speed, you're not in for a good time. But if you like a chilling descend into madness and lots of atmosphere (and cool cars), this might be your thing. And the image of a burning Christine chasing down one of the bullies on a deserted road is so iconic, it will be burned on your retina. 

Now go and listen to 'Bad To the Bone' again.