Spawn (1997)

 

Yes, there once was a time when adapting a comic book to the big screen didn't go as well as one might have hoped. Not only the audiences didn't truly care, sometimes, the makers themselves had no clue. 

Hello 'Spawn'. Why and how did the people involved fuck you up as much as this? 

To be fair: it was probably New Line Cinema that did the butchering of this project, as apparently the original cut was a lot longer and less, well, cartoony. Also: why on Earth make a bloodsplatter-filled comic a PG13 snoozefest? 

More money, of course. But that didn't pan out quite like they suspected. 

'Spawn' is the story of a US government operative called Al Simmons, who is surprisingly good at killing people. After he is betrayed and killed by his superior, he returns to Earth as he made a deal with a devil called Malebolgia in exchange for the chance to see his wife again. Little twist: it's been five years and now Simmons' ex is married to his best friend and they have a little daughter. 

And yes, I said à devil. There's more than one. 

Now Spawn is being torn between both the armies of Heaven and Hell, as the first side sends him a teacher called Cogliostro and the latter a diminutive, rude mouthed clown. But what side will Simmons choose and will he be at peace with being pretty much an undead soldier?

First off: if you have no knowledge of the comics, this one will leave you pretty flabbergasted at times as to what is happening and who is important to the story. True fans will be disappointed by the lack of violence and blatant disregard for any continuity leaking over. 

You do get a couple of comic book panel-shots. It's the least they could do. 

This could have been so cool, with a lead of colour in a kick-ass action/horror film, but for some incomprehensible reason, the makers decided to cram way too much into a fairly short film. You barely get to know the names of the characters, let alone their motivations and most of it makes no sense. 

There are plenty of examples: Simmons' relationship to the downtrodden people of Rat Alley, Cogliostro (who is just here for inane exposition), Jason Wynn (now just a featureless baddie instead of a contriving and conniving bastard)... They tease an angelic hunter (and fan favourite) by showing us the infamous Angela for a total of two seconds and then she is never seen or heard again. 

Oh, and the CG is for the most part absolutely atrocious. 

Not everything is horrendous (but a lot is). Michael Jai White makes for a good choice as Simmons/Spawn, he just doesn't have that much to do besides scowl and growl. The one who truly steals the show is John Leguizamo as Clown/Violator. He is hilarious in his sick, demented ways and he has the funniest lines by far. Props to the total dedication with which Leguizamo plays him. He is definitely the highlight of the film and to be fair: his Violator-form is the best effect in the film, both in CG version and as a lifesize puppet. 

Oh, and the soundtrack is absolutely killer. Seriously: check it out. It is thàt good. 

I can't hate on this film as the character is dear to me, but I can't recommend it either. It is too shoddy, rushed and flawed and has more plotholes than a plot that is just a hole. The whole plot is a plothole. Nothing makes sense, too much is jammed in and the editing at times is just plain off. With more focus and less studio interference, this could have been a fun, fairly low budget action romp, but as it stands, it is just a jumbled mess. 

Go read Todd McFarlane's original comic series. You'll thank me.