Octopussy (1983)

 

Well, we're back on the cheese once again. 

But you know what? It doesn't bother me as much as say 'Moonraker' did, mostly because they don't pile it up and also because this feels like a better film. 

Bond is set on the trail of jewellery smugglers after a Fabergé-egg is discovered in the hands of another agent. It turns out this one is a fake, so that must mean that someone, somewhere is forging treasure. At an auction, Bond draws out Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan), who it seems has a stake in this egg. Bond follows him to Delhi, where of course shenanigans ensue. Khan is in league with a mysterious woman who lives on a floating palace and who is the eponymously titled Octopussy.

A palace? Filled only with gorgeous women? How could our intrepid hero possibly resist? 

Well, he couldn't, but you knew that.

Here, Bond discovers Octopussy is the daughter of a man whom he once gave mercy and she is incredibly grateful for this. 

Yes, that means they sleep together, what did you think?

But Khan still wants Bond dead and after some kerfuffle, it seems as though Bond has met his maker. But of course he hasn't. So now it's off to Europe and Octopussy's travelling circus, where Khan has a nuclear bomb installed into the show canon.

Why?

Because there is a crazy Russian general (Steven Berkoff, who it seems only played the same role over and over during the 80s) that wants to start a war and to this end wishes the bomb to go off on an American airbase. He is also the one who is letting treasures be forged in order to sell and finance the caper.

Yes, it is as convoluted as it sounds.

But you know how this ends, obviously.

So storywise this is a bit of a mess, as almost nothing makes any sense whatsoever and the smuggling feels attached rather haphazardly into the plot. Heck, Octopussy herself doesn't show up until well over halfway in. But that's okay, it does build a little mystery. Except that Maud Adams, who plays the character, is also on the film's poster art, but details.

Also: there is a plethora of silly jokes and one liners, some fun, some not so much. Telling a snake to "Hiss off."? But see, the darn crux of it is, it's so silly that it becomes fun again. They manage to tread that line between 'horrendous' and 'actually funny' so much better that 'Moonraker' that it works this time. Sure, if you don't appreciate the gadgets (like a crocodile-shaped small submarine) or Moore's deadpan delivery of puns, then you will undoubtedly be frustrated. But Moore's expression is so often one of knowingly winking at the audience, it's irresistible. Check his face when one of the henchwomen (Kristina Wayborn) explains her tattoo by saying: "That is my little Octopussy.". Moore's face is golden. 

Could have done without the soundbite from Tarzan when he swings from some vines, though. 

Maud Adams is excellent as Octopussy, even if she doesn't have a lot to do. But miss Adams has that otherworldy beauty that just works, with a sultry voice to match. Berkoff as Orlov is all sorts of 'dialling it up to ten', but sometimes I feel this is the guy's only method of acting. I've never seen him not hamming it up. Louis Jordan as Kamal Khan is okay, but a little bland. But his henchman Gobina, played by Kabir Bedi, will leave an impression, as the man is clearly blessed with an overabundance of the correct menacing presence to feel believable. 

So yes, this one IS silly, but enjoyably so. If you care for the more lighthearted tone, you can do worse than this one.