Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (2018)

 

There comes a time and a place for all things to end. It should have ended before this one. The fifth installment was surprisingly fun, albeit predictable and safe. This one brings more of the same, only with horrendous sidecharacters and a storyline that is once again all too familiar, alas. 

Burt Gummer (an always engaging Michael Gross) is out of money and luck. So fortune smiles on him when suddenly, Graboids attack in Canada, above the Arctic circle. Yes, now they are supposed to be in snow instead of soil, but don't get too excited: after the opening sequence in the snow, it's just Graboids in the sand yet again. You would hardly know it takes place in Canada, if they didn't remind you every five minutes or so. 

So yes, it once again is Burt to the rescue. Save for two Ass Blasters, it's back to the Graboids, and this time they are once again of the big and gnarly CGI kind, just like the ones from the previous outing. People get eaten, Graboids get blown up. Burt is suffering from some nasty parasite he apparently got when he was swallowed back in the first outing. But it's a little bizarre that it took this many years for the parasite to start threatening his life. Well, it is an attempt to try something new, but they don't do a lot with it. Heck, they don't do a lot with anything, really. 

See, that is the problem with this one. The last one was Graboids in Africa, but at least there were fun or engaging characters involved and the pacing was good. Heck, even the dialogue got several chuckles. This one is so by the numbers and has such boring and mundane dialogue, it's sometimes painful to watch. Yes, a lot of callbacks to earlier iterations (the daughter of Val from the first one makes an appearance for some reason. Don't worry: it doesn't lead to anything of importance) and the same stale jokes we've seen before make a comeback, even though they shouldn't have.

What makes this one the worst, right after number three is the piss-poor side characters. The drunk pilot makes no sense, the government guy is so horrendously cliché it hurts the eyes and with Doctor Ferezze, they managed to create a character that is close to the annoying levels of Jar Jar Binks, only slightly worse in that he is not even remotely attempting to be funny. God, and it takes way too long for this wanker to get eaten at that. 

So, this is almost the worst of the franchise. I only rate the third one lower, because that one is so pedestrianly slow, that it is boring. This one goes at a slightly faster pace, but it is not good, period. Only for the hardcore fans.