Total Recall (1990)

May we please pretend that the remake with Colin Farrell never happened? Because you can't top this one for sheer spectacle and amusement?

Okay, good. I figured we would be on the same page. 

Our favourite Austrian plays Doug Quaid, a construction worker who is having nightmares about Mars, even though he has never been there. When he sees an ad for Rekall, a company that can implant memories, he is intrigued and decides to go there. He needs some of that sweet, sweet Martian memorytime, baby! However, things go awry and it transpires that Doug is not who he seems, even though he himself has forgotten this. It's off to Mars, to discover plots within plots, bring down an oppressive administrator and on the way have some interaction with mutants.

And did I mention aliens are also involved? 

Yes, this film is based on a short story entitled: 'We Can Remember It For You Wholesale', but here, everything is cranked up to 11. Focusing more on action instead of a more cerebral story, this was tailormade for Arnold Schwarzenegger. He brings his A-game, full of quips and memorable one-liners. 

Yes, the often meme-ified outcry of "Bullshit!" in its various tones is also here, don't worry. 

But don't forget the rest of the cast! There's Sharon Stone in one of her earlier roles as Doug's wife-but-not-really. She brings a fun menace to the part, as does the never faltering Michael Ironside as Richter. Is there an actor better suited for the part of evil henchman than him? I'm a little hard pressed to think of one. The main reason here being you can tell the actors had fun with their roles and are going all in. Or all out, depending on your preference. Also, ever since Ronny Cox played an evil corporate business man in 'Robocop', he now got typecast as doing that, seeing as his turn as Cohaagen, the administrator, is pretty much the same as Dick Jones from 'Robocop'. But still, no complaints there. 

But let's be honest: this is Arnold's film, first and foremost. He is the hero, even though it seems that his alter ego had some shady dealings before. But now, free of the mindcontrol and what have you, he fights for the good cause. Will he win? Will he overcome the odds?

It's Arnold. What do you think?

There are so many memorable parts here: the bar scene, the showdown in the appartment, the giant alien construction inside Olympus Mons, the meeting with Kuato, the super cool X-ray vision scanner... This film has a plethora of images that can be imprinted upon the mind, it's almost uncanny. The set design is largely to 'blame' for this, as it all looks very distinct. Okay sure, some of the sound stages representing areas of Mars look a tad iffy from time to time, but there is so much entertainment to be found, you won't really mind. 

It's actually pretty bizarre: director Paul Verhoeven always said that he doesn't really have any affnity with science fiction, yet his forays into this genre feel like his superior work (to me, at least). If you can make stuff like 'Robocop', 'Total Recall' and 'Starship Troopers', you must be doing something right. Maybe it's because he can focus more on the story instead of getting lost in sci-fi-tropes, who knows? 

Anyway, 'Total Recall' is an absolute blast from start to finish. The action is exhilarating, the story is fun, the actors are a joy to behold and Arnold is a shining beacon of a god. 

Yes, I am a big fan. What gave it away?