Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

'Revenge of the Fallen' is an absolute clusterfuck. 

But I still like it. Because it's 'Transformers'? Yes. Because it does some things differently from the first one? Yes and no. 

This one was written during a writers' strike and it shows. It almost feels as if they just went ahead and used the very first draft of the script, which is never a good idea. There is a reason scripts get several rewrites. It's called "making this stuff better". But hey, we did get a loud spectacle extravaganza, so there's that. 

Small victories, ey?

Sam Witwicky is off to college and the Autobots have teamed up with human soldiers to hunt down the remaining Decepticons. However, one of the latter prophesies that The Fallen shall rise again. Meanwhile, Sam touched a sliver of the Cube and is seeing Cybertronian symbols. There apparently is a machine on Earth that the Decepticons want in order to blow up our sun and harvest the released Energon. But then Optimus is killed and they have to find the machine before it is too late. And... and... and...

You see where one of the problems with this one lies? You can only stuff so much in a film before it become incomprehensible. This one is pretty close to becoming just that. They throw a ton of new characters at you, most of whom don't even get three lines of dialogue in. Okay, sure, focus on the core cast. But then again, they don't really do that either. 

What always frustrates me, is how they went for a much more serious tone for a lot of the time, and then proceeded to fudge it all up with some of the lowest humour possible. I don't need to mention that Devastator has balls in this rendition, do I? Yep, that's a Michael Bay-joke for you. You know, the kind only he finds hilarious and everyone else finds annoying and superfluous. Some of the characters are also completely unnecessary and juvenile. The fugly twin robots Skids and Mudflap are supposed to be comic relief, but they are just grating. We could have done without them. Heck, the new human character Leo is exactly as pointless as you would think. God, I hate that guy. We didn't need him. Sure, bringing back Simmons was weird, but John Turturro is the only silly character that maybe needed to return (but not really). But throwing in an annoying arsehat like Leo was not exactly a smart move. Why Jetfire uncomfortably veers between old-age-fart-jokes and heroism is also a mystery, and Wheelie is a cool idea which they instantly screw up by making him remind me way too much of Joe Pesci at his most annoying. And that's before I needed to focus on what the heck the story is trying to say. 

Not a lot, as it turns out.

But is it all bad? Well (possibly unpopular opinion coming through): not really. 

Yes, the story is a mess. Yes, the humour is grating and unfunny (Sam's mom makes my toes curl every time) and yes, the dialogue is stilted and far-fetched. But there are some items that have actually improved. For one, Megan Fox can act. Okay, it might not be much, but she does show some dramatic prowess in the more serious parts. She actually made an effort this time. The action scenes are chaotic at times, but the setpieces are great. The opening battle in Shanghai is thrilling, the rise of the Decepticons is pretty brutal (check them destroying an entire fleet and the bodies and remains slowly sinking to the ocean floor) and the final battle in the desert is pretty entertaining. You might get seizures from some of the shaky cam, but I can honestly say I like that part, because it's just balls to the wall action and let's be honest: no one does explosions like Michael Bay does them. 

But is it a good film? No. However, if you like it loud, this one is for you if you manage to switch your brain off. 

I like it because it's 'Transformers' and even though I can recognize that it isn't a masterpiece, giant robots kicking the crap out of one another will usually be entertaining.