Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)

You know when there is a series or franchise you like, and while it might not be the best out there, it still speaks to you? And how, if they keep it going for too long, there will always be that sequel that is so atrocious, you honestly don't understand how they could fudge it all up?

That is this one.

Sure, the 'Underworld'-franchise isn't earth shattering or new or whatever, but I like it. I still prefer the second one in the series, but even 'Awakening' tried something more or less new. It failed on several levels, but it is still enjoyable to watch. 'Blood Wars' is not.

How can I tell? Because I have seen this one about four times already and every time I see it again, it feels like the first time. I can honestly never remember anything from this one, it is thàt forgettable.

Heck, even Kate Beckinsale's character feels like an afterthought. The focus lies more on David. You know, the vampire boy introduced in the previous one? No?

There are several problems with this one. For starters: the storyline is all over the place. I have no idea what this one is actually about. I think vampires are on the brink this time, the Lycans want to eradicate them and to do that, they apparently need the blood of Selene's daughter. Who isn't even in this film because Selene sent her away and doesn't know where the girl is, so she can't be found. It feels like this should be a major plotpoint, but it goes nowhere. Same with the search for Michael, Selene's lover. He is never seen again and in a throwaway line near the end it is revealed he is dead.

Wow. The most powerful hybrid ever, and he's dead just like that. Wow.

Oh, and in case you're wondering about everything up until now, this one starts with Selene narrating everything that happened in the previous films. Again! Let's be honest: we're only watching this one because we have seen the previous ones. Someone who is not familiar with 'Underworld' isn't going to start with the fifth entry in the series.

Then all of a sudden Nordic elvish vampires are introduced. Where do they come from? Why do they all look like elves? No one knows and no explanation is given. They also know some secret about coming back from the dead (which Selene does at one point), but what it does, how it works... No idea.

The new Lycan bad guy is Marius. You don't get to know who he is or where he comes from, he's just there. He is an underwhelming villain: boring, without an ounce of charisma or clear goal. He is supposed to be this charismatic figure, but I'm sorry: if this guy is the follow-up to Lucian, they should have picked a better actor. There's also a powerhungry vampire named Semira, then there's a vampire girl who is Marius' lover, a henchman that switches sides faster than you can blink.

Oh, and David is suddenly the son of Amelia and thus the rightful ruler of all vampires. Who knew? Apparently only desperate scriptwriters. 

You see where I'm getting at? They throw so much at you without rhyme or reason, nothing makes sense anymore. You don't have to do too much exposition, but this one could have benefitted from some. But I guess the writers just didn't care and expected us just to swallow all this nonsense.

The same fragmentation is felt in the editing. It is incredibly choppy and overly fast. I am not joking: there is no way anyone can follow what is happening during the fight scenes because it is never established who comes from what side and so on. You will instantly lose all interest. Heck, even the slower, more dialogue filled scenes are shot like it was a squirrel who suddenly ran across the keyboard that controlled the camera.

I don't necessarily need my films to break new ground, but I do need them to be fun and to make sense. 'Underworld: Blood Wars' fails on all levels and killed the franchise, I'm sorry to say.

View at your own risk.