Alien vs Predator (2004)

After both the 'Alien' and 'Predator'-franchises had established themselves and had given us two of the most iconic extraterrestrial species ever, it was only a matter of time before a crossover became a thing. Probably the biggest step in this direction was the trophy cabinet on board the Predator's ship in 'Predator 2', where we could all see various skulls he collected, including a xenomorph skull.

Fanboys wet their pants in expectation. But no cinematic follow-up was made. Instead we got books, comics and of course videogames. It's actually rather bizarre we all had to wait until 2004 before they actually turned it all into a film. A flawed, but still enjoyable on a campy level-film.

Yes, I know this film gets a lot of bad publicity by overly zealous fans. But isn't that always how it goes?

On Antarctica, satellites discover a heat signature and a team is quickly assembled to go and investigate. Turns out there's an entire pyramid beneath the ice. The humans were lead here as fodder, to provide hosts for the xenomorphs so young Predators could hunt them and prove their prowess.

That's the entire film right there.

I mean, what did you expect? Heady discussions about the meaning of life, the universe and everything?

The characters are all cookie cutter, no questions about that. The only one we're supposed to have a connection to is guide Alexa Woods, played by Sanaa Lathan. She does a reasonable job, but of course all human characters are going to be overshadowed by the alien species, that only makes sense. In that respect: both Predators and Xenomorphs aren't in this one all that much, unfortunately. They also don't clash that much. Maybe that's what makes people hate this film.

It's great though that they brought Lance Henriksen back as Mr Weyland, you know: of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation from 'Alien'? He is fun to watch as always, even though he is relegated to the 'sick old man wanting to make one last massive discovery'-trope. Of course he dies.

Actually, most human characters are offed rather speedily until only Alexa remains. She teams up with one of the Predators and tries to escape the pyramid, after which she and her companion still have one final showdown with a Queen on the ice.

Now there's an idea for a show: "Xenomorphs on Ice". Think it will draw a crowd like 'Disney On Ice"? No? Why?

In all fairness: the story is paperthin, the characters are bland and uninteresting and some of the fight scenes are an overedited mess. There is little to no tension and the violence isn't overdone. Yet, I have a soft spot for this one as being campy entertainment. I can honestly not deny having fun watching this. It flies by at breakneck speed, it gives me a small fix concerning both Xenomorphs and Predators (both will always be cool, horrible sequels notwithstanding) and if you have nothing else to do for about 90 minutes, you could do a lot worse.

There, I said it. I like this one, even if it isn't great. I know, how dare I? But give it a chance and don't spend too much time overanalyzing what it is. It's a mindless action/adventure film and sometimes, for a certain mindset, that is all you need.